Out there living your lives,
Was kinda bored, so thought
Why not say hi,
Thought I should share,
Been keeping this for a while,
Cowardice, anger and fear kept me from revealing this.
I just wanna share something the four of you are unaware of,
It’s deep and sad. It’s heartbreaking and devastating,
The revelation gonna create rifts, I don’t know how you’ll deal with this, my dear ones,
I don’t know if you’ll judge at the end or just be mum like nothing happened,
I had to write to you ’cause I miss you,
I wish I could get the chance to see you and mingle with you,
You on the other hand don’t miss me one bit, Can’t blame you though,
I’m anonymous to the four of you, you have no idea that I exist, you’re good that way.
My narrative is long, too long like river Nile.
I’ll be brief, (difficult)
o.k I’ll try to be brief. I’mma shorten the unnecessary and at the same time vital parts.
Are you going to forgive her? Please promise you will. You love her so much.
She was naive then, gullible, callow, ignorant, yea, all that.
And reckless too. she was careless with her goodies.
Sixteen years after her birth and she thought she knew everything.
She felt sweet, she was sixteen, sweet sixteen,
So one day it happened, after all her escapades,
the rendezvous of previous months, the consequences would show.
She couldn’t bare it. Results of intercourse with several buddies led her to having a bulging tummy.
shame, pain, humiliation, idignity, embarrassment to the family and community.
What next? Live with the shame or get rid of it,
she chose the latter,
Got rid of the bulging belly,
I was the occupant in her tummy,
Poor me, I so much wanted to bask in the sun, I wanted to see all the pretty and not pretty things in life.
I wanted to experience that, but she denied me the chance
What made her do so? Shame, and the embarrassment that would follow that.
What would the judgmental society think of her if she walked at a slower pace and like a sick child? She couldn’t sway her hips in pride no more, she could only walk with her head bowed down, as if burying it. As everyone could stop doing their work and stare at her with shock and amazement.
The thought made her stressed up. So the only way to end her woes was to get rid of it, get rid of me.
I was dead before I was born. Yea. mama, your mama, our mama didn’t want to see me, she didn’t want me in her life.
Shame on her? I cry every time. My tears bother her conscience.